I'm hoping that I don't look so gloomy when I'm on the phone.

"Hello! I'm who-ever from where-ever.  I'm calling to..."

That's the typical way I always start my conversation when calling someone I've never met or never knew. Especially for my job, where calling people up is something we have to do all the time.

And I just hate it.

I hate it. I hate it. I HATE IT. I H-A-T-E I-T.

I don't know why. Most probably because I don't know who the other person is, what kind of person he/she is, and so I don't know in what manner I should talk to him/her. Sometimes I used the wrong tone of voice, even though I didn't mean what I sounded, I was blamed for being rude.

I don't see myself as a rude person.  And neither have I ever used rude words or languages when talking to people on the phone.  Yes, I admit that I have problems in communicating.  I'm a direct and straight forward person, and so am I when talking on the phone.  Therefore, for those who don't know me well enough, they would think that I'm a very rude person.

You know (of course you don't), this is a very tough job for me.  Every time before I call somebody up, I need to take a minute or two to 'draft' out what I'm going to say, so that, besides not missing out any points or questions, I would express whatever I wanted to say more politely and that I would sound more soft-spoken.

Only those who are not as spontaneous as I am would understand how I feel.  Not just on the phone, even when I'm having a presentation in front of a group of people I tend to be lost.  The difficulties of finding the correct words and putting them into a sentence... and that's why I've never liked presentation even though I've been doing it for so many times.

Well, what's the point of talking so much right here and doing nothing?  Hah. Guess this is my greatest weakness so far.  Anybody has any advice for me of how to be more spontaneous?  Sigh. Sometimes I feel that I'm a total failure, especially now when my job requires me to have this skill ?good spontaneous communication skill. 

Sociable but can't communicate well on the phone. Perhaps I'm the only human person of that 'quality' who's alive in this world today. Hahaha.